Today has been a challenge to stay on track. It has been hard for a couple of reasons, I have been hungry all day, I have cravings for crap all day and at my weigh in last night I was up a pound...It's the trifecta the physical, the desirable and the depressing. I can handle each on their own but when they gang up on me I am held hostage. Instead of breaking I am trying to rationalize it. One, the physical is easy to solve, just eat a lot of the right things and i'll be fine. Two, cravings can be over come easily too by knowing there will be the feelings of guilt if I cheat on my diet and remembering that it is Thursday and that means in a few short hours I can have those cupcakes if that's what I want...I can hold out a few short hours. The third is tougher of the three challenges. Disappointments like gaining weight lead to frustration and the idea of "What the hell, I can't do this". It is just a pound but it is just a pound in the wrong direction. It is irrational to lose focus because I gained a little weight this week but my mind has this automatic reflex, when I am mad, sad, discouraged, stressed or whatever, I pacify with a snack.
So the challenge continues, the internal battle rages on...should I eat that chocolate, should I have that banana instead. I will let you know which side wins tomorrow because at this point it is still anyone's game.
6:09 am, the next day....I had a big dinner and held out on the junk food...I made it!
Telling myself "You can't do it" has gotten me nowhere when it comes to self image. This year I turned 39 and decided to tell myself "You can at least TRY". This is a chronicle of my attempt at getting into shape, sticking to my goals and all the trials and triumphs that come along with it.
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