The mental game

I was somewhat surprised to realize today that running is EXACTLY like everything else in my life...if I am mentally committed to it it's easy, if my head isn't in the game it is impossible.This week has been an exercise in mental gymnastics. I have spent time abusing myself for not losing fast enough, admiring my new body in the bathroom mirror, lamenting the fact that I can't eat everything I want when I want it, congratulating myself on losing another .5 pounds and then criticizing myself for it not losing a full pound.  The inner dialogue is a dramatic roller coaster of Jekyll and Hyde thinking. It can play out on the road as well, I can make it to that blue car...oh no you can't. I actually caught myself in this internal dialogue:

"Just to the end of the block"
" Bullshit!"
What do you mean bullshit"
"Well the last time you said "just to the end of the block" you made me run all the way home...so I call Bullshit".....

" Well this time will be different, this time when I say "end of the block" that's what I mean"

"Bullshit....you're stopping now because I don't BELIEVE you"


So I stopped and walked for two blocks the whole time berating myself for not "making it". It's ridiculous how this internal dialogue effects everything. I can talk myself into or out of almost anything if I let the dialogue get the better of me. So the only way I have found to combat the internal dialogue is to day dream on my runs (I'm running in a marathon kicking everyone's ass is my favourite). For food I just do my best to have the right kinds of food in the house but this doesn't always work. So I ALWAYS have treats, they are just less fattening treats then the used to be. It's amazing how awesome a chocolate wafer tastes when you know it's the only thing you have in the house. Bottom line this is where the die in diet comes into play....you must now flex your discipline muscles and make sure you ignore that internal dialogue and commit yourself to the greater good. This is what normal, healthy active people do every day. I am sure it is a battle too for them it's just that they have more practice at it and they're discipline muscles are bigger and stronger.

My facebook status update today is this
"It takes more energy to come up with excuses and feel guilty about them then to just get out and do it."