From pregnancy on I have felt ultimately responsible for the relationship my son has with food. Did I eat too many sweets during pregnancy? Will my failure to breastfeed mean he will end up with an obesity problem and battling diabetes as all the studies relentlessly point out. I made my own baby food but sometimes I cracked and fed him jars, I can't afford purely organic fruits and veggies, I added salt to his food, I gave him milk bottles in his crib, chips at parties, processed meals from time to time, dessert after dinner, we even went to McDonald's once. Feeding your child can become this minefield of do's and don'ts with a million opportunities for you to make judgment calls on behalf of your child...but
How do you teach a child to eat the right things in the right proportions if you aren't clear on the concept for yourself? I am working on it by taking advice from the experts and taking the lead from my boy. If he tells me he's had enough, even if his enough seems like not enough, I respect it. I want him to understand where his full is and stop at a comfortable full. I don't know how to do that. I eat until I am STUFFED which is usually significantly more calories then I need in any one meal.
This week I had a breakthrough, discipline wise, with my son. He was adamant that he wasn't going to do something that I wanted him to do and I was determined that he would. I couldn't back down because I had drawn a deep line in the sand; to back down at that point would be to set the stage of being walked all over for the rest of my parenting career. So, what was the focus of this critical disciplinary turning point in my relationship with Ian, why suppertime of course. I had made, from scratch, a beef stew and a cauliflower and cheese. He took one look at it and said "No, banana!" After 20 minutes of begging, threatening, crying, screaming and eventually successful bargaining I managed to get Ian to take ONE bite of the cauliflower and cheese. This was all I asked for, no more no less but the expectation for him to do this was there and failure to comply meant no banana, no supper. I won, I succeeded in bending him to my will. But, of course, the inevitable fear and guilt about that food relationship crept into the back of my mind. Will this battle of wills warp his little mind? Will he grow up to feel like he never had control over his plate of food because his cruel mother forced him to try everything...even if it was just one bite. I feel as if the dinner table is the wrong place for a battle of wills but at the same time I want my child to realize that he isn't ordering from a restaurant, that variety and home made have been, are and will be always a part of the menu in our home and that when mommy says "please try this" it isn't a request but an absolute obligation. I want him to be open to trying everything but to be allowed to develop his own palate where it is OK for him not to like everything after he has tried it the once.
Of course what I want and what will happen are never a predetermined certainty when you throw a child into the mix but one can only hope and try her best (and implement brainwashing techniques when all else fails.)
How do you teach a child to eat the right things in the right proportions if you aren't clear on the concept for yourself? I am working on it by taking advice from the experts and taking the lead from my boy. If he tells me he's had enough, even if his enough seems like not enough, I respect it. I want him to understand where his full is and stop at a comfortable full. I don't know how to do that. I eat until I am STUFFED which is usually significantly more calories then I need in any one meal.
This week I had a breakthrough, discipline wise, with my son. He was adamant that he wasn't going to do something that I wanted him to do and I was determined that he would. I couldn't back down because I had drawn a deep line in the sand; to back down at that point would be to set the stage of being walked all over for the rest of my parenting career. So, what was the focus of this critical disciplinary turning point in my relationship with Ian, why suppertime of course. I had made, from scratch, a beef stew and a cauliflower and cheese. He took one look at it and said "No, banana!" After 20 minutes of begging, threatening, crying, screaming and eventually successful bargaining I managed to get Ian to take ONE bite of the cauliflower and cheese. This was all I asked for, no more no less but the expectation for him to do this was there and failure to comply meant no banana, no supper. I won, I succeeded in bending him to my will. But, of course, the inevitable fear and guilt about that food relationship crept into the back of my mind. Will this battle of wills warp his little mind? Will he grow up to feel like he never had control over his plate of food because his cruel mother forced him to try everything...even if it was just one bite. I feel as if the dinner table is the wrong place for a battle of wills but at the same time I want my child to realize that he isn't ordering from a restaurant, that variety and home made have been, are and will be always a part of the menu in our home and that when mommy says "please try this" it isn't a request but an absolute obligation. I want him to be open to trying everything but to be allowed to develop his own palate where it is OK for him not to like everything after he has tried it the once.
Of course what I want and what will happen are never a predetermined certainty when you throw a child into the mix but one can only hope and try her best (and implement brainwashing techniques when all else fails.)
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