Still at it, getting somewhere

It has been too long between posts, I know that. I am not a great diary writer but I have started this and I am determined to continue.

I am still on track with my jogging experiment. I am, however, in full *summer* mode and have therefore taken the opportunity to try new things to keep my exercise routine FRESH. I am power walking at least once a week in replace of a jog. I have found that although I am a really slow and lumbering jogger I am an incredibly fast and stellar power walker. It comes far more naturally to me, I don't suffer with the same aches and groans from my body while I am on a walk. I am tempted to keep the walking up but drop the more difficult and painful running. But that wouldn't be the point; I am not looking for easier, I am looking for challenging because a challenge conquered is more rewarding and gives me reason to keep at it. I have started taking swimming classes. I have always loved swimming, I am a good swimmer but I could use some tips. The first time in the pool doing laps and I nearly drowned...I was panting and gasping by the end of the FIRST LENGTH...pathetic.  But I have gotten a few great pointers and I am gliding through the water now like a mermaid. I am biking about 30km a week just to throw a bit of a change into the road work.

So, in other words...the exercise portion of my lifestyle change is going smoothly and has been successful.

That leaves us with the diet. I am waning on the diet. I find it tiresome and frustrating. I have an appetite for the rich and decadent and a taste for more then my metabolism can withstand. As much as I say no one minute I am tempted the next.  Then, when I do go off on a bit of a binge I feel so guilty now where I didn't before. I think to myself "you are doing all this physical work to get into shape and your mouth is blowing it."

What I have been trying to do is to merge a lifestyle that  like into a diet plan that feels natural and normal and not like a "diet". I want to be able to eat what I want without pulling out a calculator or writing it down. But my reality isn't that...my reality is that I have to keep track and when I don't I am not able to maintain weight loss and , in fact, will gain weight if I am not very careful and consistent watching my calories. The balancing act seems to be eluding me at the moment. The sweet spot between diet and lifestyle that I am sure is the holy grail to ever lasting weight control. If I can't find that balance I know this diet won't work. The exercise has been a breeze but this damn diet.......

What I have learned so far is that I can do just about anything physically that I set my mind to do (with in reason). I am still training my brain to settle for less calories and fewer treats...to relearn how to eat and when to eat. It is a constant up hill battle for me and I am starting to get tired.