Nearly lost my way

So , it is a little beyond mid summer and I am struggling with my diet AND now my exercise. I haven't been to a Weight Watchers meeting in 5 weeks. I admit it, on my 2 week vacation I easily cheated, badly, 8-9 days out of 14. I did continue to run, kinda, but I had promised myself I would do a 5k race that had been professionally organized in my area and I chickened out. I have made excuse after excuse for weeks now "It's summer, enjoy yourself", "It's a party, enjoy yourself" , "It's too hot, don't kill yourself instead ENJOY YOURSELF". I really am very convincing, and a bad influence. At this point I have only seen a very, very slight increase at the scale but I know that time will catch up to me and a lot of hard work that I have laid down in previous weeks will be lost to my own lack of will power and willingness to give up. I am truly disappointed in myself because  feel like I have let the momentum drop and it is so hard to get it going again once you've lost the spark. It's not even that I wasn't seeing results or receiving compliments, to the contrary, I was losing weight every week and getting great feed back daily from people. I just wanted a vacation from my new lifestyle I guess. I can't say it any plainer then that. I was diet fatigued and the running is murder in the heat. I was having nightmares thinking about being the last runner in the 5k. I was convinced that all the 5k runners were experts that would leave me choking on their dust and i'd get those "Well at least you did it" pep talks.

See how convincing I can be....

So, without making any promises I can't keep I have decided that I have to set some new sights, some new ground rules and almost start from scratch. First, I have to be OK with my occasional cheats, this is part of life. I am going to waver, I am going to convince myself that eating a brick of cheese with a box of Ritz crackers is a great idea....I just have to keep it to specific reasons. LIKE Vacation, or weekends. Although I would LOVE to run the Terry Fox, I don't think I can do it. My maximum run so far has been 6.5 km so I just don't have the training in for a 10k at this point. That doesn't mean I will never do it, it just means I have to train more in order to try. I must get back to Weight Watchers meetings, they are the heart and soul of m diet plan. The community is fabulous, the speaker is inspirational and funny. I need them to keep me on track and inspired.

I must keep writing this blog weekly if not daily. It is another resource for keeping me accountable. I have let it slide along with all of my other neglects.On to another day, looking forward towards continued weight loss and healthy living.